See the World Through My Eyes

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Killing The Chief of Staff

I recently came across this very outrageous writer called Prestone Adie whom I strongly believe deserves a medal. I choose to call him outrageous because I am yet to figure out why this article made me laugh and eventually fart involuntarily. He is a very intelligent and gripping story teller and I also suspect he is a very disgusting individual to have a beer with. I would hate to imagine the agony his close friends go through by association. Read this and just tell me flat out if I have praised him a bit too much. Oh and Big Up Camp Mulla on their video ” Hold it Down”. These kids are Legendary. Watch it as you read :-)

By Prestone Adie
I struggle to keep my eyes closed. Every time I catch a glimpse of the dark land something jerks me awake. I’ve been at this the last 20 minutes or so. This is not my favourite past time, at least not at this moment of the day. Seated close to me is a lady who I guess got her size matters figured out. She occupies every space in her seat and most of mine. Who am I to complain after all she’s fearfully and wonderfully made; in this case I bet the potter did a tonne fearfully and a tiny wonderfully. I understand there are men who like this size. Again, am just a piece in the puzzle I can’t complain why this little space is where the potter let me fit.  I pull and tug to fit the seatbelt at least to be sure I won’t fall off should this bumpy ride stay this way. I give up when I realize the belt might have been consumed in her mighty butthole. She has every luggage on her lap; the yellow extra large polythene, a kuku, a hunting bag( no other bag is that big) and a large china phone. One of those phones that I bet come with CD players. Did I mention she loves her music loud, I mean no ear phones but the classic palito on hand. I bet this must be the reason can’t get any sleep because suppose she decides to play Brick breaker on that phone who knows the size of bricks it has and whether virtual reality could be real at any point in time?

http://youtu.be/RQPaJDV2SNU

This episode of my life reminds me of the time I took a group of Philistine friends of mine to Nakuru. They kept asking questions on and off in a language close to English, maybe it was English because most words after serious explanation sounded English to me. They talked of how happy they were to have come to the nativity of US president and asked me whether I would take them there. I said yes and named my price that’s when I realized Kikuyu is not a tribe in Kenya, they are spread all over the world. They lectured me on the proper ways to treat foreigners even if I was playing host. We might be foreigners but we know that given a thousand shillings is your highest monetary denominator one must always find change whenever they use it, they said. They told me how they had been to Kenya before and even gone to it’s second largest city, Kampala. In fact they said Kampala had the best Kenyan women because they knelt down to greet their men and showed the highest respect. When I challenged them why they didn’t get married to them they said how dark thighs dimmed their sexual appetite.

Truth be told, I had hosted these Goliath men for the last 1 week and by then I had taught them the lines of “Mgeni siku ya kwanza…” which they sang every time they could. Am not a bad host, that much I know because my mum had taught me well. Question is how much of that do I remember or use. Let me whine a little. In my neighborhood I am a very respectable man. For one I don’t drink and when I do I don’t tell. Next, I don’t play loud music mostly because my other neighbours have better systems unlike my version of a subwoofer which is basically a stolen matatu speaker placed inside out in a cut Jerrican that I proudly made in campus, Genius huh! Again, the kids on the block love me, they want to be like me when they grow up however much I keep beseeching them to have different goals because even me didn’t want to be like me when I grow up. These kids come calling when they can and that’s where the problem comes with my guests. They walk naked in the house and say clothing is something for people who are not proud of their bodies. Am not proud of their bodies. They take pictures every other time and record everything including the time I was shouting at my mum for pledging a 10000 give away at church in my  name. Yeah! Times are hard but that’s a fact I don’t want my parents to know because they believe am one of their successful projects. These Goliath people don’t flash the toilet and say that in their country they have automatic flashing systems that go swoosh when you are done losing weight. They hate ugali and love uji, how’s that even possible. They love nyama choma and prefer I cook them nyama choma than ugali and sukuma wiki. They like Jamaican songs and believe the Jamaican language is the one used in the God’s must be crazy. In a nutshell they are quite the guests.

Once on the trip to Nakuru I told them that Zebra’s are called Punda milia and donkey punda, an action I soon came to regret when they kept shouting punda milia at everything they saw. Then I told them that Nyani is Kiswahili for hi so that they could give me some fun in the car while they kept exchanging pleasantries and they ended up using it on a traffic police officer.  Long story short thank God I borrowed a turbo charged land rover hard body for this trip cos damn! How many horse power does that thing produce again?

I remember on the second day when they skyped a friend of theirs in Australia who gave me a hard time explaining that my dad is human and not a chimp. After the call I took out the family album and compared with the evolution pictures on the internet.

Actually I understand why David had to kill their chief of staff with a stone from river Tana.  These people are a pain in the ass. There’s a reason why David is the hero of this story and am not surprised he’s a Maasai, after all they are the only people I know who like David kill lions and graze their father’s cattle. Here’s a question for y’all, What is the average height of a philistine because Goliath is the first and the last I know who was both huge and tall? Is that why he was made the chief of staff? Do they have oval faced women there or is round their only version of sexy?

Here’s a pointer. While men say women whine, am a masculine version of a woman because I complain a lot and that should not make one think I didn’t have fun. These philistines gave me three things when they were around. One is fun like never before. Then there’s a million pictures of nude men on my desktop which I have learnt to delete without looking. And finally, most significant of all they made me bankrupt.

April 18, 2012 | Categories: Guest Authors | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

TO CHEAT OR NOT TO CHEAT?

BY PATRICK WANYOIKE
The last blog post by Michael Ngigi really created a furor and got me thinking. Although the actual blog was not about cheating, many people judged the blog by its title and thus lost a very important message on self-love. Many thought that the author needed some sort of intervention, well if you just read the first few paragraphs and never really bothered to read the whole thing. Cheating it seems, is a very sensitive topic although it’s very prevalent. So this blog post is ACTUALLY about cheating. Let me first reiterate that I am not encouraging anyone to cheat. I thought about this topic and I enlisted quite a number of people who wished to stay anonymous (for obvious reasons) to give their opinions on this topic. What I got back, were a myriad of reasons that was too long to list. They gave reasons for and against cheating; here are some of the reasons they gave as to why people cheat…

1. Boredom
This was the most common reason. Most people felt that once you put time in a relationship, you lose the spark. The chemical high wears off; the sex becomes dull and infrequent. Same position, same person, and only the adrenaline of an affair can bring back those feelings of excitement. Some people just enjoy the thrill of running around and trying not to get caught. Long-term relationships have the annoying habit of making people lazy. They settle and once they do that, boredom sets in and cheating might follow.

Nobody will bring back the spark in your relationship unless you work on it. How about you try investing that time you use to cover your tracks, sneaking around and cheating to go out on a few dates and keep that spark alive? Better yet, get a hobby or work on your bucket list

2. Revenge
So he/she went and cheated on you. You ‘forgave’ them and now it’s payback. You feel betrayed, wounded and want to give them a dose of their own medicine and even the playing field. So what do you do? You go and cheat

People do dumb shit. (Pardon my French) This is one of them. When does the vicious cycle of an eye for an eye end? All this ends up doing is leaving everyone blind.

3. Because They Let You
This was a reason given predominantly by the men who felt that once they cheated, and were forgiven; felt that no matter how many times they did it, they would be forgiven. After all, you did let them get away with it the first time.

Maybe it’s time to take a stand and don’t allow anyone to take advantage of you and your generosity

4. Self-Esteem
Sex can be an instant pick-me-up; that makes women feel sexier, more beautiful and more loved. And if you are ignoring her, not giving her compliments, some other man might be doing just that. For men, who need their ego stroked constantly, nothing does that better than discovering that other women still desire you sexually. And when this happens, sometimes the temptation proves just a little bit too much

Pay attention to her, ask her questions and don’t hold back on compliments — a little flattery goes a long way. And for the ladies, it’s your job to make your man feel like a man. Or someone else will…

5. Exit Strategy
Instead of breaking up with you, they cheat on you. That way they don’t have to deal with the broken relationship, which is much harder to fix. An affair is the easy way out — or at least that’s how they see it.

Don’t be a coward, man up. If you want out of a relationship, say so. Don’t cheat.

6. Its Genetic
A report came out a few years ago that said, “In what is being called a first of its kind study, researchers at Binghamton University, State University of New York (SUNY) have discovered that about half of all people have a gene that makes them more vulnerable to promiscuity and cheating. Those with a certain variant of the dopamine receptor D4 polymorphism — or DRD4 gene — “were more likely to have a history of uncommitted sex, including one-night stands and acts of infidelity,” according to lead investigator Justin Garcia. DRD4 is the “thrill-seeking” gene, also responsible for alcohol and gambling addictions. The gene can influence the brain’s chemistry and subsequently, an individual’s behavior. The desire to cheat or sleep around seems to originate in the brain’s pleasure and reward center, where the “rush” of dopamine motivates those who are vulnerable, the researchers say.

I guess they better come up with a test for this in order we can all get tested. The science is sound but whether it affects you is a totally different matter. Look at the term used “more likely.”

Patrick Wanyoike studies Organic Chemistry at the University of Iowa.

March 26, 2012 | Categories: Guest Authors | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Why You Should Cheat

I could get shot for what I’m about to say but I don’t care [Someone had to do it anyway]. I owe it to my readers to always tell them the truth about life. In the process, I risk exposing myself and losing everything I have. So today I will tell you why you need to cheat and not feel guilty about it.

I believe it’s okay to cheat. In fact, your life depends on it! How the hell does one live just committed to one individual? My head hurts just at the thought of stopping everything for one person. It is a crime of dire consequences and the already dead and miserable can bear me witness. We were not made to be committed to one person and we were definitely not made lacking the ability to love more than one.

Please control your emotions and let me finish… 

Let’s do role play. You be the troubled patient and I’ll be your wise shrink. Lie down on my couch and close your eyes. I will ask you questions that I will need you to answer truthfully.

How come you are still lonely despite having a significant other? Do you go through those moments where your life is just blank and aimless when your partner is ‘supposed’ to be there for you? Does it make you wonder why in the first place you have a boyfriend if they can’t seem to do their ‘job’? Do you think that your girlfriend is self centered and only thinks about herself 200% of the time? Is she always going on about her shoes, her moods, her job and whining almost all the time? When was the last time she asked you how you were doing? Oh I forgot, it’s always about her isn’t it? Doesn’t it get to you how she complains that you’ve changed lately?  How she likes the person you were when she first met you? Does a small part of you wish that one day she’ll break up with you and set you free?  Do you feel imprisoned? Does a smaller part of you wish you’d bust her cheating on you at some point  and just kill the relationship abruptly?

Your boyfriend only cares about soccer and is always running the town trying to make that extra buck you don’t need. Is he always shrouded in mystery? Does it feel like he’s playing you? How about his girlfriends that you always suspect and hate with your life? How come they make you angry yet you found them already in his life when you met? Why now? Would you rather he cancel his plans and spend an evening with you over a romantic dinner? Do you feel like he doesn’t understand you anymore? Do you feel like you’d want a guy who’s always there for you, caring for and pampering you? Well I got a solution for you. Cheat on him. Cheat on her. Let’s all cheat on each other and let’s just be one happy planet!

Before you go breaking the champagne and hurling fists at me for bringing out your innermost sentiments, I would like to explain what I mean by cheat.

I want you to take your mind’s eye back to who you were before you met your girlfriend. You used to have great friends, good times and very likely an active hobby. You enjoyed meeting up with those flirty cute girls every once in a while (Every man enjoys the company of  fly women). Remember how your phone always used to be busy with friends calling you up for plans? You never used to schedule any drink ups but they used to come to you. You never missed the weekly soccer practice and the quarterly fishing trips. Come Mondays, you were always upbeat waiting and anticipating for the next exciting experience. You used to be active. You used to be a player!! You were the MAN back then! Let me also guess one more thing, you were never broke! Remember?

And you my dear girl, were really pretty back then. You almost got police protection because the boys wouldn’t let you live in peace. They always waited in line to take you out for dates. You had a great body because work out was your daily devotion. Remember your love for shoes? Everyone knew you had amazing taste. You were quite the dancer too! Was it salsa classes you were taking every evening? You always said salsa was your life. When did you stop writing? Did the inspiration die? Nothing to write about anymore? It must be a long while since you went out with the girls. You always never missed the chance to travel and take pictures. What went down? Now you’re always home when he calls. Always complaining how lonely and bored you are. Forever whining about how he never makes time for you and is always running around with his friends. Look at you! You can’t even watch a movie without falling asleep in the middle of the action scenes! Poor girl, don’t you realize that the world didn’t change? Your man is still the same man you met 5 years ago. The only difference is when he came into your life, you threw your [life] out the window.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you fell in love with your significant other in the first place? What did you find attractive in them that was too strong for you to resist? If my guess is right, it’s because they had other ‘loves’ in their lives. It’s what made them stand out. You loved how he was passionate about music and cooking. You liked how she struggled every weekend with her paintings even when the world knew she was a crappy painter. How she was passionate about singing even when all she could manage was a weak croak in the shower.

As humans, we are attracted to people who seem to have the good stuff going for them. People with dreams, ambitions and charisma. People with hobbies and active lives. No one wants to hang out let alone commit to boring and blank people. It’s time to get back to who you were when you first met her. It’s not going to be an easy task my brother. At first, you’ll have to do it behind her back because she won’t take your sudden change of character just lying down. In essence, you’ll have to cheat on her with the good things that made her fall in love with you. I’m talking about those things that you like doing alone. Don’t worry, it is a natural desire to want some alone time every now and then. It would be a strenuous experience to drag your woman when going to have a drink with your friends who are women wouldn’t it? Ever seen a cat fight? No? Good. Don’t be in a hurry to see one.  This ‘cheating’ does not include getting romantically involved with another person while still in a relationship. It does not involve doing things that will hurt the one(s) you love. This ‘cheating’ is about bringing back the spark and setting you and your lover free.

So you like practicing on your guitar alone? Go for it! All I’m saying is that you are more attractive when you have a life of your own. When you have some hobbies and friends that are exclusive to you. Of course there are those things you can do with your partner and have fun while at it but then there are things that define you. Stuff that reminds you that you’re still on course and in control of your life. The moment you lose what makes who you are, you lose your life and you lose all the people around you.

Take time to evaluate and appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, the world loves you back. When you love yourself, you are able to love others without effort. When you develop yourself, you are able to empower others. When you cultivate and are comfortable in your character, the world learns to lean and trust in you.

So go on player, It’s time to cheat on your partner. Don’t feel guilty about it; you will see the results soon enough.

March 13, 2012 | Categories: Dog diaries | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments »

Puss in Boots

My heartfelt gratitude goes to Duncan Kikata and Susan Wong for inspiring this sincere post. I also thank my two friends who formed the inspiration for the star character herein. I can never judge you but I can openly tell on you :-)

•••

Show me a man who doesn’t like being around beautiful women and I will show you a man who desperately needs to come out of the closet. We love beautiful women. Have you ever sat in a bar with five hot girls milling around you totally hypnotized by your silly stories? Have you ever met the type that just picks up the phone and calls you up – just to hang out even though you’re not gay? Oh, they even remember your birthday even though you hardly remember to show up for dates.

Imagine the ambience, the alluring morph of sweet smelling perfume when you’re seated in a nice lounge with this knee-buckling group of outrageously fly hotties. At one point I had these cute girl-friends who’d always walk me to my car after a lovely evening drink at the bar. Six of them. None of which I had a thing with (I’m dead serious!) Can you imagine that? Rather surprising but cool. Beautiful women can help keep the doctor away. Of course this statement has a disclaimer tagged onto it. Good looking women can heal your heart as well as kill it. They can excite you and also run your pockets dry. So every outcome depends highly on why they hang around you in the first place.

As fantastic as my story sounds, you have to know what lies beneath these beautiful faces. Let me break it down for you young tiger. I will tell you what you didn’t know about your cohort of fly women. Oh believe me, they’re not just there for your pleasure.

Meet my friend Lala, a dizzyingly hot girl who seems to have everything going for her. She is wealthy and successful and she’s only 24! She is deputy vice president or a rotary club and she is paid well for it. But wait, she never used to be like this two years ago! From what I remember, she’d failed miserably in her high-school examinations and she had this unfortunate-but-true reputation of being a blond. She never used to be interested in anything else other than her looks and HER looks. She also had this tendency of telling her friends that she wanted it all! The power, the fame, recognition and all those punchy words ‘liberated’ women use for self motivation (no pun). So the other day, she called me up for lunch and I was happy to join her. I’ve known her all my life and to some extent, I value her as my small sister. I didn’t wait to ask her how she’d ‘blown up’ in just two years! These were her words…

“I know I’m not smart and I may never get any real man to be interested in me. I’ve known that all my life. So today I’ll tell you why I own my house and drive a 6 liter car all in my name. Remember my aunt Terry? The one with a set of cute twins and the adorable husband? Well, that ‘adorable husband’ called me up one day just after finishing school and told me he had an internship for me in his business. I was to work as his personal assistant just to have experience for the time spent before joining campus. A few months into the job, he started acting funny. He would tell his staff that we were going for a meeting and we would end up on a date at a fine restaurant. One thing led to another and eventually we started having sex. I felt guilty all the while and on several occasions I considered telling my aunt what we had been doing. He cautioned me against it and well… he started paying me and buying me gifts in exchange for my silence. And in no time, I started having my own things! I moved out of home and rented an apartment in a nice neighborhood. I won’t lie, I loved every moment of it! I felt powerful, strong and totally in control of my life. At some point, I stopped feeling guilty and even feeling sorry for my aunt. I figured that all men were the same and it was a fact of life. So eventually my aunt found out and together with my ‘employer’ they decided to let me go and cut off my ‘supply’.

I was distraught but I had learnt one big lesson in life. A girl’s got to get what she wants! She just has to realize it’s all in front of her.

Then started my journey. I got a high paying job as a personal assistant to the CEO of a multinational corporation without any qualifications. I am a beautiful woman; I knew he wouldn’t resist calling me that evening after meeting at the Jockey Pub. I got the job in a week flat. My work? Well, people of his calibre run very busy lives. They need someone other than their wives to run their professional and financial lives. Someone who knows how to keep secrets and never gets attached emotionally. I was in charge of what he wore and what he ate. I was responsible for stating how much money he would send his wife despite her protests that I was up to no good. I changed his company’s open door policy to ‘closed door policy’ if you know what I mean. Everyday at unpredictable intervals, I would lock us in his office and ‘work on him’. I would make him do the things I was sure his wife would never do. One day he would open the door at lunch and find me spread on his large mahogany table in sexy lingerie and panty hose already served up to his taste. On other days he’d find a ‘nurse’ that had come to his rescue after hearing he was suffering from a ‘cold’. I nearly drove him crazy but I didn’t care. He eventually left his wife and started being clingy. I hate attachments so I knew it was time to move on. I needed to elevate my status and power so it was on to the next one. I love sex and I love dominating strong men. I am addicted to the havoc my lifestyle causes.

My current boyfriend is a diplomat. He’s a good guy but not really my type. He’s taken me on trips around the world but I’m still not impressed. I need more! He’s leaving his wife, I hear. Too bad. I wish she knew that he likes being tied up to the bed and tortured with candle wax. Poor thing, she’s just a nice lady with a big heart and a very small grasp of all matters sexual. Anyway, you should know that I am not a whore and I am not looking to be attached anytime soon. I’m just working towards my dreams like everyone else. I am no different than the policeman who kills on duty or the teacher who inspires a student that later becomes an intelligent and elusive serial killer. Let’s just say, in the process of living life, there’s bound to be collateral damage. We call it nature. For every thing you gain, someone has to lose it.

My ‘former bosses’ now in high places chose me for vice president at the rotary. With me at the head, they know I will have them ‘looked after’. I have a group of young hot women like me that I have been tutoring. What’s the use of a ‘gift’ if you can’t pass it on anyway? As for you, I am happy that you’re living a normal life. I respect that. You’re one of my few true friends that I will forever be grateful to. Should you find someone you really like, just let me have a look at her just to make sure she’s not like me. Look for someone who is worth her salt and not yours.”

•••

Aids is real. Think first. – A Day in Dog’s Life™

February 28, 2012 | Categories: Dog diaries | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments »

Sunset Diaries

My eyes fail me and my knees have turned into jelly. I can see the kids shouting yet I hear very little of what they’re saying. All my friends are gone and the world has changed so much in the last 50 years. I have to wake up several times to make an attempt to empty my bladder. It’s painful and tedious every time. Who would have thought this day would come? I used to feel proud at the urinal, peeing with one hand on my hip. I still place my hand on my hip but for a reason different from what it was decades ago. I’m always in pain. a blurry picture is what remains of the beauty I used to see. The earth spins slower than before. It’s almost grinding to a halt. The sun has turned more red over the years. it almost resembles a huge drop of blood.

I hate hanging out with my age mates. All they do is complain. Of things they didn’t do and a past they didn’t make right. Opportunities never taken and lovers that they were too proud to hold on to. I have seen better days. I thought my dream story would last a lifetime only to surprise myself in the end. I loved her more than everything else, yet I had to let her go. I couldn’t keep up with her complaining and dissatisfaction. She was never happy with where I was in life. It was natural for her to want all the good things in life, just to match up with the girls of her time. But she just couldn’t wait. Now I’m standing here in the middle of vast wealth that I don’t need. Riches that found me at the wrong time. I have travelled the world to all the places the curious child in me  wanted to go. I have met good beautiful women of every color and tongue. I have dined with the greats and the most ordinary of folk. I have done everything I wanted to do and still I can’t get her out of my mind. The one I almost had.

The pictures in my living room tell of a gripping tale. Of a life that very few will ever get the chance of living. Of a past that I live in the present and the scary prospect of an uncertain eternity. I could give anything to have it all back. To relive it. I would give anything to have some of those cold, hungry nights I spent on empty pockets. I have everything now. I thought a mansion would make me happy. It made me lonely. I’d rather walk than sit at the back and be driven by my old friend who now calls me ‘master’. I’d rather skip my breakfast than suffer the prospect of abundance while the world outside falls in ashes. My left hand can’t keep still and this headache never leaves me.

I was there when they took over what was our home, now a mere province of the Union of Nations. When they took our children to depopulate the earth and redistribute resources. I keep hoping Nimi and Sally will one day walk through that gate. A parent can feel it when one of their own is not alive anymore. I am a sad man and I have not a way of holding back my tears. I never made any efforts to pray or read the bible when I was young and now it’s all gone. I can’t believe it’s now a crime to gather to pray. They say it interferes negatively with others’ beliefs and therefore a criminal offence. It’s a pity the child of today will never experience the warmth of the sun. Days are darker and times are hard. I want to die.

It’s funny how long the queues are at the wellness program center. I hear they can give you a life prolonging injection that will keep you young and add you 60 years. Why would anyone want more life? Look at them trying to smile through their suffering. Paupers that will never know the beauty of earning bread after an honest day’s work in the fields. They work for the order of the day and none have ever seen their master. They have never seen the money they earn. They are paid in credits and benefits. They work for a voice on the computer. This is all that is left, a race of hopeless creatures with no nationality and creed. No pride and zeal. Do they realize they lost their dignity even before they were born? Zombies, that’s what they have become.

I remember how it started. We took to the streets to demand freedom and liberty for all on earth. Our forefathers had warned us, that if we opened that door we would never be able to close it. We were too clouded to heed their warnings. We broke the law down and built it to suit our shortcomings. Instead of striving to better ourselves we brought the low to our level. In what was called the free world, it became a crime to marry more than one partner yet it was okay to marry the same sex and even adopt children. We made it okay for man to do as he willed. To be allowed marry their children and to be free to lay with the beasts of the field. We declared that love was just but an illusion. Our women became material and the men of our time became weak with greed. They could never keep their promises. We made the world ONE, all the while believing it was the right thing to do. Most of our leaders gave up their power to one man and they told us it was a new and bright dawn for all the universe . For those leaders, who did not agree with us, we vilified them and called them dictators. We made it our ambition to ‘free’ those under their rule. And we brought down governments and many a good man just to satisfy our selfish and most vile of desires. Domination. Control.

All we have left are shreds of memory of good days gone by. We were too occupied to stand back and see what we were doing to ourselves. And when the sun finally set, it set for good.

…

Freedom comes at a price.

February 10, 2012 | Categories: Dog diaries | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Till Bed Do Us Part

Today’s publication is a sequel to The Bed which remains one of the most read articles in my blog’s short history. A big thank you to the reader that chose to ask my opinion on this issue. I won’t say your name.

I will tell you two storiess. The first is heart breaking while the second is just a natural case of happenstance. We spend a whole lifetime planning and painting fantastic imagery of our future but sometimes [if not always], fate has a different plan. Some call it Murphy’s law. I call it life. One will never be experienced in matters of the heart. The script changes constantly and heartbreak is the constant threat that always lingers in the dark episodes of our existence.

My friend Lilly got married at 25 on a sunny friday morning. It had just rained the previous week and the landscape everywhere looked beautiful and colorful. Her parents were very happy and proud. By then, it was an open secret that Lilly had fought the ‘good fight’ and was now being betrothed a pure and virgin bride. To cap it all off, Sam, her boyfriend of 5 years was also ‘pure’ and free of scandal. If this marriage was a garment, the tag must have read MADE IN HEAVEN on the collar.

You see, they’d both met at church and had similar tastes in almost everything. They both believed in the sanctity of a romantic relationship. They had made a covenant with God, their parents and themselves never to engage in sex before marriage. On this morning of their wedding day, tears rolled down the cheeks of almost all that were present at the plush, well manicured gardens. It was a sweet union. When the minister pronounced them man and wife, they kissed romantically and it was evident they had ran out of breath in the tight grip their love, diligently earned. And as the young maids showered confetti and rice on the love birds, the young ladies present at the wedding fell into a swoon and could not hide their envy. It was beautiful.

It’s been 6 months now and Lilly is crying in the kitchen while making dinner. On the kitchen table lies the lovely red roses that Sam sent to her office earlier during the day. She’s crying because she doesn’t know what to do. Sam has always been a good man. He makes her feel special and Lilly is sure he loves her. But this is not the reason why she is crying. She is sad. There is something about Sam that she can’t get out of her chest. Since they got married, they’ve only had sex 3 times and they both hated it. It was short, painful and devoid of all emotion that should ideally come with making love. Sam preferred to turn of the lights while they were at it and cautioned her against making any noises. Needless to say, the sex was over in the blink of an eye and he was snoring at the far end of the bed in no time. He seemed not interested in making love and this made Lilly feel inadequate and worthless. In the morning’s after, he wouldn’t touch her or kiss her good morning and was out of the house before first light. It felt like she disgusted him after sex.

She feels wasted for all those years she kept herself pure for marriage. According to Sam, sex ‘is not everything’. He prefers to cuddle and watch a movie over a nice meal. What I’m trying to say is, Sam has never had a chance to ‘practice’ and is therefore not confident with himself. He is a proud man and will not pause at the possibility of learning the art of making love. What a classic case of marriage made in heaven and a bed made at the carpenter’s. For now,  Lilly is holding on.

“It’s only been 6 months” she consoles herself. She shudders at the thought of living like this for a lifetime. Meanwhile, onlookers look at Lilly and Sam with envy wishing they too, had a marriage as blissful as this one. They look so cute together! MADE IN HEAVEN.

Meanwhile in downtown Nairobi,there’s a couple fighting at the bus stop. It’s Sharon and George. They call each other names and cuss loudly and in a short while, they are arrested by city council askaris and bundled in a waiting ‘cage van’. They’re charged with disturbing public order and fined a hefty amount each. After working together to contribute the sum, they’re let out in an hour. Once out, they kiss and make up and are laughing in no time. It’s been 10 years on and off in their  relationship so they’re used to this. Marriage is an issue that none of them wishes to discuss. They both believe that once they get married, the fights will get worse and they might end up splitting for good. In their opinion, marriage just complicates things.

Sharon and George have a great sex life. They both love exploring and learning new stuff. Weather in public or private, they show their affection fearlessly and passionately. They’re also addicted to what the new world calls ‘make up sex’. So most of their fights have a happy ending and are therefore petty. They play and live as if it’s always their last day alive.  At the bus stop, they were fighting because a pretty girl had said hi to George and Sharon had a hunch that the two had slept together before. Women can tell these things you know. Other than these ‘small’ misunderstandings every now and then, Sharon and George are generally a happy couple. They could live on sex alone, or so it seems. Each one of them has tried a different dish on several occasions but it seems this one still suffices at the end of the day. A wedding can wait. For now, they can love freely and work on their ‘imperfect’ relationship learning and changing. In the meantime,  the bed is the least of their worries. They’re doing just fine.

These two cases are just a a few that caught my eye. I have also seen many instances where both approaches have worked and the couples have enjoyed long healthy relationships. Most of us have been brought up on rules based on morality and religion but somewhere along the way, we get to realize life is real and very practical.

And finally, there are two people somewhere in the world who feel it is time to make a bold move. Be careful what you wish for. Everything has a price. One big question though; will you shop around and test before you buy or will you buy first and test when you get home? In both cases, the shop DOES not accept returns for goods once sold. Both scenarios have advantages and disadvantages but most of all, they are real. For once I hope you will not base your decision solely on religion or hearsay. For this one, just do you. And as for the guardians of religion and doctrine, maybe it is time you engaged your flock in discussion and reason. I believe more lives can be changed positively this way.

Let it be known that there’s definitely more to a relationship than just sex. There is love, work, money and family to consider too. However I chose to talk about sex because it’s what no one wants to talk about in honesty.

Remember, as you make your bed, so you must lie in it.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

February 8, 2012 | Categories: Dog diaries | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

King of Tot

I haven’t been blogging for a while now and it’s because I’ve been trying to figure out a way of changing my writing style. I have reached that stage in writing where I have to be careful with every word I say. I have to consider who is going to read my stuff and what opinion they’ll have of me after getting my message. My back’s against the wall and I hate it. I have become to conscious and always under threat. I long for the the days I was just new to blogging and I could be honest about my life and my opinions. I feel strangled and my inner self is dying to breathe. I am a free man and I want to feel that freedom burning in my veins. I want to go back to the first place I started from. I want my readers to talk to me openly like before. I want a reaction. I want the anger to rain on me from my readers who hated my opinion. I need some action. Let me attempt to make you feel something again. To hate me or love me is what I want you to do. I need to know what you think and I need you to express it and not hate yourself for it.

Today I want to talk to you about the boy child who after years of neglect is now almost fading into extinction. We paid to much attention to the girl child that we forgot the other child. The boy child has become the black sheep and his chances in life have dwindled to crumbs. The boy child has no home to go back to nor does he even get a chance to enjoy a home cooked meal let alone a warm bath.
You will often find him on the street just walking. If not there, you will find him in the bar drinking himself wet. He is afraid to go out and become a man. He longs for the days when he was the leader of the pride. When a man was supposed to be the protector and provider. When he would wake up early to fend and always came through for his family and friends. When the world loved him for who he is, not his material wealth and certainly not for who his friends are. This boy child is your father. He is your brother. Your friend. Your man.

This post is dedicated to the men and women who have stifled the boy child’s chances of finding his destiny. Most importantly, this post is dedicated to the boy who endures suffering for love. The man that is trampled on but still hangs on to the people he loves no matter how small the chances of reciprocation are. This man needs to be free. He needs to know there is a way out. It’s part of manhood. the faster you opt out, the faster you heal an move on. Meanwhile, we continue to suffer. The strong ones break free. The weak ones suffer in silence and make alcohol their friend.

There is a man who has been sitting alone in the dark for the past six months as he waits for his woman to come home from hanging out with ‘her girls’. His days are gloomy and uneventful and his stub shows that he has seen better days. Tot after tot of rum, he wonders why he still hangs on. He has never been happy since she came home a ‘different’ person. He hates being the one who’s always the complainant. He hates being told that he makes too big a deal of the fact that she’s never there. He has seen her being dropped off by these ‘girlfriends’ too many a time. From the moment she walks in the door past midnight to the time they both leave for work early in the morning, this man knows he is sailing on a sinking ship. He still can’t figure out why she stays or why he stays. He wonders why this situation stays and looks like it’s here to stay for eternity. Does she get gratification from making him suffer? He hates it when she threatens to break off every time he brings up a concern with the aim of working things out. He just wants a normal life. Must relationships be this hurting? Must he always be dealing with drama? Does he really need all this tension? Another tot.

You my friend, are that man. You probably don’t sit in the dark waiting for your woman to come home, but maybe deep in your heart you can feel that your relationship is draining you. You love her but it feels more like you’re loving a ‘thing’ like a car that can’t love you back. She has become a stranger to you and doesn’t seem to notice your presence. How did it get to that point? Let me remind you. Remember the first time you saw her? She was everything you ever wanted. She knew your mind and knew you by heart. You felt connected even when you stayed apart and had busy schedules. The love was real and innocent. You gave up all your prospects to be with her. Could this be the mistake you did? I could argue that you started looking less attractive because your heart settled. Theory? Truth? Remember how you boldly told off your women chasers because you’d finally found the woman that you were ‘meant to be with’? Remember the fast life and unpredictable fridays? What happened to the man who was helpless flirt and a success magnet? When did you become a wuss? You dress like an old man now. You ditched cologne because you don’t need to impress anymore. You get home super early because you abandoned your friends to be ‘serious’ with life. It worked well at first because she praised you for being the best man in her life. She reciprocated your love and for a moment it seemed like a fairy tale.

Then out of nowhere she’s suddenly ‘busy’ and always ‘tired’ to do something different. A man will rarely scroll through his woman’s phone but suddenly she has these strange phone conversations to which she answers in mono syllables. Too many texts pounding her phone to which she laughs or smiles as if you’re the one flirting with her. Suddenly she’s sixteen. She wants to get noticed even though you’ve always sang her praises in all honesty and consistency. Whenever you’re out with her, you can’t help noticing her eyes wandering off every now and then because she’s constantly distracted. To her, you’re not funny anymore because you can feel in in the way she laughs sarcastically at your jokes. She also has new friends that for one reason or the other, you haven’t met even after a year of hearing about them. You blame yourself. You fear that maybe you got boring and started pushing her away. You want the truth? You didn’t. You just happened to fall in love with the wrong woman and you need to mitigate misery. You need to run. Dear mouse please down another tot and allow me to turn you into a lion.

Here’s the deal. It takes two hands to clap not one. It is logical to say that if your loves you, she will tell you when she feels something is going wrong. You know how you do every night she comes home late? How about that guy you keep telling her to stay away from? the reason why you raise these issues is because you love her and you feel something when she doesn’t care about you the same way. Look at yourself brother! You fear calling it quits because you worry it could jolt her into depression. Or is it that you fear you won’t survive yet another break up in life? Really? Think again. Would you rather THIS for the rest of your miserable life? People die of a broken heart but worry not. YOU can’t die because yours has been broken for a painfuly long time. She doesn’t care how you feel anymore. She doesn’t show any signs of working through love’s challenges. It almost feels like you are not her first choice anymore. Like someone else is having the best of her. Maybe you’ve been praying about it. Have you considered opting out as an answer to your prayers? The thing about love is that it never shows in grey. Only in black or white, never in between. You’re either in love or you’re not. Take another tot but this time, let it be your last. Alcohol will never teach you how to tie your shoe laces. It numbs and gives solace to the man who wants a temporary lie. A man who know he will succumb to the wounds of misery.

It is foolish and ignorant that one would sit on the couch in a burning house, screaming and yelling for help while the door remains widely ajar. You can run….no….you can walk out. Let the house burn but save your life. You can always build another house. It’s easier than reconstructing scalded skin. Walk out and start again. Go buy new clothes and a good shave. Call up your best buddies and open up to them fearlessly (it could happen to anyone). Open your eyes and see the beauty that you left behind. The thrill of a date is what you will need to jumpstart your ailing heart. Don’t get into something serious any time soon. At least try your best to fight it off unless it is outrageously convincing. Work harder and make more. A huge chunk of breakups are directly related to the lack of money. Work on yourself. Your heart needs a make over. Pray harder and connect with God again. It is said that a man needs to know where he came from if at all he wants to know where he should go.

Lastly, if you are that person that is wasting time for this unfortunate boy child, it’s time to quit. You also need a new beginning. Maybe go back to the basics and just re-evaluate your expectations. You are human too and that means you deserve true love too. Only that true love is a two way thing. If you can’t handle the chili in the food, just don’t risk a bite. Don’t be the one that only takes and never gives. The more you mistreat this boy child, the more he becomes less of a man and more of an animal. Save your self and save the the King of Tot.

December 6, 2011 | Categories: Dog diaries | 3 Comments »

Beware of who you marry….

The first time I met Maurice Matheka I couldn’t help noticing how easily he handled women. He’s one guy who always fascinates me in the way he understands the female psyche. He simply knows what women want. So when time comes for you to have a bridal shower just make sure you call this guy. Trust me. Not that I’ve been to a bridal shower but as a guy, I’ve learnt quite a bit from this brother. Go on, have a read and prove me wrong. I dare you. I think he is one brilliant orator and I hope that one day, I will be great enough to share a stage with him. To my readers, happy year one from A Day in Dog’s Life™. Leggo! – Michael Ngigi, A Day in a Dog’s life™

•••

By Maurice Matheka

Dear Maurice,

Where do I begin?

I am a wife and a mother of 5 children, my youngest is 14 years old. I was married at 22 and have been married for 28 years now. In those 28 years I have been through thick and thin with my husband regardless of what he throws at me I have stood by his side not because of the children but because I married for life, I am a big believer in till death do us part and will stick with it as I am not about to break my vows. Now in regards to my husband he has always been a traditionalist and that is something I have had to adapt to but it was not easy especially during our first 4 years of marriage.

When we met I was a very out going woman with plenty of friends and hobbies, needless to say he stripped me of those pleasures of life. He is a loving man who provides for his family and when it suits him he will treat me like the most special woman but unfortunately that is where the good side ends.  On our fourth year of marriage I came to find that he had an affair with my neighbour’s house help and got her pregnant. She was fired from her work and my husband did his part and decided to support the baby, which he still continues to do to date. I was upset as you can imagine and hated him for a while. I moved out to my friend’s place for 5 weeks but I later forgave him for his adulterous actions. Another part of the saga that annoyed me was that he defended his actions stating that in his culture he is allowed to have multiple wives and that I should not fuss about it because I would always be his first wife. Maurice I painfully took his words and despite the hurt I was determined to maintain my family no matter what.

Maurice asks,

It’s probably an obvious question but did you by any chance identify the kind of man you were dating before you married him; did you sense his traditionalist character?

She replied,

Yes I knew the kind of man he was and still is. I knew about his believes in regards to the family unit. I knew that his extended family led a certain life style where men married more than one wife so in a way I knew it may affect me however I also thought that he would discuss it with me and not impregnate a house help behind my back. I am very well aware that men who practice polygamy will always consult with their existing wife or wives before they introduce another woman to the family I never got that memo. Living with my husband has been an experience and I have learnt a lot about male unorthodox practices and behaviours.

Maurice’s comments,

You have been married long enough to assess your man and you have clearly accepted his character and the actions that come with that character, you also imply you know men pretty well, so at this point I must admit I am puzzled because I haven’t determined what it is you need from me?

She replied,

Maurice to my horror I recently found out from my husband’s close friend that he has 2 more children with the house help. I then visited her at her upcountry home and she confirmed the same. He built her a 3 bedroom house and apparently over the years he has been visiting her and spending weekends with her. In my mind it all added up because I prodded information from her about dates and she confirmed a lot. He supports her and guess what? His family knew about it, and behind my back she was traditionally confirmed as a second wife and life went on as if I never existed.

But here is the icing on the cake. While we were candidly chatting she happened to mention that in 2008 my husband acquired himself a young 19 year old girl from his home area and she has a 2 year old baby. It is alleged that he is in the process of confirming her. She is currently living with her parents but from what I hear he has received blessings to marry her and educate her through her campus years.

Maurice asks,

I must ask, is your husband wealthy? I mean, in this day and age it’s not easy to keep 3 wives.

She replied,

Well the man has a full time job as a company MD and 2 personal businesses so I guess he can afford the life style he chooses to live. I am a house wife but I also run a successful business which was funded by my husband over a decade ago.

I am lacking companionship, a loving full time husband, a man who only wants to be with me because I never thought I would share my man yet I am doing it everyday.

Maurice asks,

Do you really truly still love your husband or are you there because it’s an easier option to maintain status quo, the devil you know syndrome?

She replied,

Maurice I love that man. Whenever he comes home he finds a cooked meal waiting and I still share a bed with him and we still share intimate moments. During that period I shut out all other thoughts and enjoy every minute spent with him. I know I sound odd but love is a powerful feeling and I can’t ever leave him despite all the things he has put me through.

I want to tell him that I know about his other women and that I don’t care about that part of his life but he now needs to only provide for them and become exclusive to me. I need to feel like the woman he married. I am a very balanced and practical woman I cannot change what has occurred but I would like to believe that I have a future with my husband exclusively. I still have a lot of love and passion for him, so how can I convert him for him to see that I am all he needs in a woman?

Maurice replies,

My dear I would love to tell you that your current irregular relationship status will change in time but let’s review the facts. You have been married for a long time and from the beginning you knew the character you were marrying. Playing the supportive wife you allowed for things to escalate over the years. Your husband got another woman pregnant early in your marriage and in my opinion I believe there was never an honest heart to heart between you to share and establish a foundation of honesty and trust that would limit a repeat occurrence hence the additional kids with his first mistress, if I may call her that, and now there’s a third woman with child.

I believe that your husband suffers from a kind of narcissistic personality disorder. Let me shed some light to this behavior; your husband has worked hard to acquire not only a top management post but also 2 businesses. He craves ‘prestige’ and his wealth gives him that. He also craves to feel like a man which comes in many forms, in his case he has ‘power’ as a boss and he maintains 3 women and unlike the common trend in many men he makes sure that all his women are well catered for. And that he does not do out of the goodness of his loving heart, some may disagree but that’s my opinion. He may be the most loving man on the planet but his compulsive nature drives him to believe that he can love many women. My last hypothesis is that your husband at some stage of his life may have experienced a state of feeling inadequate and formulated a strategy to work hard, acquire what he needed to feel that he has conquered the World and you have been part of that development.

You can try and convert him as you put it, but I don’t see that path bearing any fruit. Your only viable option is to sustain the life you have led with your husband, cherish those moments you described and endeavor to make them as regular as possible. You have chosen to stay with him so as a practical woman it’s now your turn to strategize on ways of keeping your husband occupied.

Follow his blog on http://mauricetherapy.wordpress.com

November 1, 2011 | Categories: Guest Authors | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Fight Club

I would like to say thankful to all those that have ever taken time to visit my blog. This Friday 28th 2011 marks the first year of A Day in a Dog’s Life™. It has been a great 12 months. Through writing, I have met amazing people who’s words shaped my  view on life and made me believe that we were all created by the same hand. I have also had the opportunity of working with great writers who to me are the most amazing and unsung heroes of our time. Thank you for giving my readers more than they bargained for.  I also thank my only best and only paying advertiser who ensured that this blog stayed online. I still need your money. I thank my readers, among them my die hard fans, the most notable one being my mother. Being a great narrator herself, she taught me that words have the power to give or take life. And as much as this sounds like a grammy acceptance speech, I am humbled and honored to write for you. I’m sure my guest writers share this sentiment. Lastly I would like to thank my fiancé who happens to be my ever present english teacher. She’s always shooting down my poor grammar but for some reason, she encourages me on. Your patience with me will be rewarded eventually. For now, please keep accepting my blank checks. Happy new dog year!

•••

When I was little, I was bullied alot. I was small and openly scared of bigger boys. They would take my lunch almost daily. I hated it especially because I couldn’t tell anyone what I was going through. You see I was raised in a home where dad was always the hero. Up to this day, I have never seen him subdued either by a person or a situation. I believed he was born without tears. You know the kind of guy who’s remain tearless even if your sprayed his bare eyes with pepper? For a man to show weakness was the most despicable crimes of all according to his character. How then would I even begin to tell him that I was being bullied in school? This clearly was going to be my own fight. I tried on numerous occasions to stand up to the bullies but I always ended up beaten and publicly humiliated. At one point I even got beat up by a girl! Oh well, she was some sort of she-male in a skirt. How else would you describe a girl who shaved bald and had three soccer scholarships from an elite football club in Norway? All the same, it stung to be jumped by a girl. Sadly, I never won a single fight in primary school. Well I did actually win once, but by pure luck so deep down I knew that it didn’t count.

In high school, the bullying continued. Despite having my older brother as a senior in his final year when I joined, the bullying escalated to a whole new level. I still couldn’t tell him that I was being bullied. When he left, I knew there had to be a way out. I wasn’t cut out for fighting. I didn’t have the guts despite taking Tae-kwon-do most of my high school life. I also tried rugby to sort of ‘man up’. It ended with a dislocated collar on the second week of practice. I quit soon after. I went on with my martial arts sessions but this time not for self defense but for the peace it gave me inside. I steered clear of bullies and always complied with their demands. Deep down, a storm brewed. I had nothing to show for being a man. Only scars of defeat and miserable academic grades to crown it all. Most of my school mates were from well off families. In fact, the worst bullies were mostly rich kids. You know the kind that forcefully take your food and supplies just to throw them over the fence or in the toilet? The ones that tear your mattress in half just so they can find a sponge to wipe their shoes? It was painful given that I had been from a humble background. Eventually, all that gradually died down as I got older and bolder; a couple of fights later. In the fights that followed after high school, I realized that I had so much storm brewing inside me. I hated bullies with a vengeance and it landed me in some serious trouble. All along I had believed there was no other way out but fight. But gradually I realized that in such fights, no one ever gets to win in the end. Life is full of fights and that’s just how it is. You have the power to choose which fights to fight. Winning  sometimes involves giving in. You can save face and live to fight another day but always know fights are like a hoola-hoop. They always come around.

A fight is just a that, a fight regardless of the context. In a fight, the parties involve are vulnerable to hurt. Wounds are inflicted that may or may not heal in the long run. The only thing that differentiates  one fight from another is the intended outcome. In a physical fight, the outcomes are unpredictable and most of the time ill-intended. There are no rules per se. It’s about hurting the other person and subduing them. Those are not the type of fights that I want to talk to you about today. I want to talk about worthy fights. Some we can’t live without. Fights that express self and individuality. Fights between you and the ones you love. Fights that are fought with words and heart sometimes with the lack thereof. These hurt and sting more than physical fights even though they are not meant to. They involve a lot of sacrifice and understanding. A hell lot of painful waiting too. Surely man has to live for something if not die for it!

It’s one that a jobless man fights when he is struggling to keep his family together through tough times. It’s the fight that this man’s wife fights to stick with him come rain or shine. This fight involves a lot of forgiving and overlooking.

Do you have something or someone close to your heart worth fighting for?

My friend Serah has shed too many a tear. Since her man was diagnosed with cancer, he has become a total wreck. He drinks almost every day of the week and hardly comes home anymore. Every now and then, a friend calls Serah and tells her that Tommy has been seen with a woman in a compromising situation. Last month when they fought over his inexplicable behavior, Tommy told Serah that he’d had enough. That he didn’t find her beautiful anymore and that he never really loved her. He told her that he wanted time off from their relationship. She was hurt deeply and cried all night. She couldn’t understand why he had changed so suddenly. Tommy doesn’t take his medication anymore. He has grown weak and frail. But Serah is not about to leave this man that she loves with all her being. She knows that Tommy is just scared and sad. That he didn’t mean any of the mean things he said. He just doesn’t want to be a burden to her. Serah is a fighter. She always waits up for him every night to feed him and bathe him. He always cries when she does these things. Deep down he knows Serah is in this for the long haul. He just hopes death will take him quickly so he can free Sera, the love of his life. he would want her to move on and love again. He wishes she could find a another man who is better and healthier than him.The fact that true love is unconditional, shreds his heart for now.

All I’m saying is, if it is worth fighting for then it should definitely be worth dying for. Tonight when you go back home, shoot your man a message. Tell him that you’ll give him one more chance to try again. Call your daughter and tell her, you’re not about to let her go. That you will fight till death to bring back the love that a parent should share with their child.  Tell your woman that you’re in it for the long haul [however weak this sounds]. This type of fight should be fought without ego and selfish pride. Otherwise you lose all and end up sad and miserable. For it is in our human element to fight for love. It is in our interest to protect love.

Never utter hurtful words to the ones you love; that you can never take back. Hurtful words inflict permanent wounds. An apology helps heal these wounds but is never an assurance that the scars will disappear. An elephant will remember the poacher who killed her mother 20 years before and attack him in revenge. How much more can a wounded human heart remember? Always take time and great care during confrontations with those close to you. In this fight club, you have to pursue the one you love until they give in. As I said, if it is worth fighting for, it’s worth dying for. The big question is, are you willing to walk the whole mile? If you’re not, then you should pack up and move on. This club is not for you.

Today I remember my grandfather who died fighting for respect from his two youngest sons.

•••

And yes I was inspired by the movie :-)

October 26, 2011 | Categories: Dog diaries | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Connecting Life’s Dots •-•

There is a writer whose strap line is ‘Tattooing great things on willing minds’. Her name is Brain Tattoo and she lives up to it. You will agree with me that her style is simple yet profoundly deep. Like tapestry, her well woven words always paint a great ‘bigger picture’ in the end. Happy reading!

•••

Written by Brain Tattoo

It has been a week since the passing of Apple icon Steve Jobs.

I remember waking up last Monday to the news of his death on BBC, and feeling very sad … in the same way that Princess Diana’s death affected me (understandably, she was our modern day Princess, the closest thing to all the fairy tales we read as children).

I am not sure why for I am not particularly techie and do not even aspire to have an i-pad, i-phone or any of those i-gadgets.  However, I was left hating cancer, pondering its cruelty and thinking that there must be some way out.

Perhaps, it was because his death came so close to that of Professor Wangari Maathai who had also passed away from some form of cancer.  Perhaps it was because her death had awakened an instinct to protect myself.  Perhaps it was because my gynae, while doing my annual pap smear, had discussed with me the availability of a vaccine that protects against the virus that causes cervical cancer.

Whatever the reason, I found myself listening yet again to his famous 2005 Stanford Commencement address, “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”

I had listened to it a couple of years back, and been inspired.  But now… in light of his recent death, his words seem to have more gravity, more meaning.  It felt like he was speaking to me from beyond the grave and reminding me ever so subtly, that life is not a rehearsal; we only get this one chance to do it.  I think that on that day, I could have conquered Mt. Everest if it was the challenge before me, but it wasn’t.

It has been a week since then; a week of pondering his message and trying to fit it into my life.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oBQnIumBRY&feature=relmfu]

I’ve gone through a myriad of feelings; jealousy, for people like him who know from very early on what they want to do with their life; envy for the others who have the courage to pursue their dreams; confusion on how to go about living my dream… ; and finally, acceptance that there is no single method of living purposefully.  What should matter is whether I am pursuing meaning in my life.

I am reminded of a saying I’ve heard; that life is like a tapestry.  From up close, you can only see the threads woven together looking messy but if you stand far away and look at the whole picture, the view will be perfect and meaningful.

Perhaps, while some of us may know the path required to start out on our life’s journey early enough, for the majority of us, the picture may only become clearer when we look back on the criss-crossing of our life’s paths.

In my life so far, I’ve worked in so many sectors that from where am sitting it is hard to see the bigger picture.  I’ve been a customer service rep in retail, worked in a bank, been a nurse assistant and physiotherapy assistant, done development work and actually managed to raise funds…etc

Today, I can say that my customer service experience has come in very handy in my job.  I don’t know where the rest of the experience will fit in but for right now, I can sincerely say that his death was a reminder to ‘trust that the dots will connect somewhere in the future’.

It was a reminder that whatever I do (so long as am doing it), I must weave that thread to the best of my ability if it is to contribute to the perfect picture.

So… until I can move on to the next thread, colour, pattern; here’s to weaving this thread picture perfectly.

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You can follow and read Brain Tattoo’s work on http://braintattoo.wordpress.com/

October 11, 2011 | Categories: Guest Authors | 3 Comments »

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